Whod you bang
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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