So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
