I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
