What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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