She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Even my vagina gasped.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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