he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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