I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
