If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
