remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
