I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
