You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
