Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
