I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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