the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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