Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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