and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Plan B is the new Plan A
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
