my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
