We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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