Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
