just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
