he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
