I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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