So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
