exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So vagazzling was a success
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
