What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize