Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
