You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
did i walk over a car last night?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
