so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
