Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
