we made out on top of his cat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
