OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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