"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i will never coherently bang her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
