just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
