Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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