this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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