It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you never un-have a 4some
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
