put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize