i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
