Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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