Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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