She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
