I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
