Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
