Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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