So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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