Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
