Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
