I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize