...so i touched it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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