that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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