My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
