sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
