I'm jealous of your bromance
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize