it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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