Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize