You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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