if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
