So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
