No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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