is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
