there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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