garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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