why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
