If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
