In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you guys were way drunker than both of me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
