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Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
