I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
