Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
