I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My dick has a subreddit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
