Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
