this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
