My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
