what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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