it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
