I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
