she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize