when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
