ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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