Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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