I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize